“It’s Not You, It’s Me:” How Donors and Organizations Part Ways

by Bryn George | June 5, 2024

One Saturday, I went to a nail salon and happily found a donor sitting in the first chair. We immediately started gabbing about personal things. As I hopped into the manicure chair, she said, “Let me ask you a question.”

“How should I break up with an organization?”

In a quick panic, I wondered if she was referring to my organization. When she assured me she was not, she shared that other organizations’ missions no longer met her foundation’s funding priorities. She wanted to give larger amounts where it fit the board’s interests.

I asked if she had communicated this to those organizations. She said yes, but they had countered this with ideas that might interest her foundation.

I immediately understood what she was talking about because I, too, had used that fundraising strategy without really considering it from the donor’s perspective.

So, what should we do when a donor wants to break up with us?

Have a Conversation

Try to have a transparent conversation with the donor. Determine why they stopped or reduced their giving. Prepare good questions and have responses ready for a variety of responses. The circumstances may have nothing to do with your organization.

Explore Other Options

Does the donor fully understand your work and programming? After learning about their funding priorities, determine if there is something else they could dedicate their giving to.

Avoid Mission Creep

If it’s no longer a good match, let the donor go. Don’t spend hours or stress your program team to refocus their priorities to fit a donor’s interests. Above all else, avoid mission creep.

Be Humble and Thank Them 

Your donor is likely trying hard to be strategic with their dollars to make the most impact, which isn’t easy. Consider how many organizations you would like to support. Be understanding and thank them for their generosity. You never know when you might be a direct beneficiary later.

Track in Your Database

Track all conversations and actions in your database. Set up an indicator for them to receive light touches and reminders to touch base in 6 to 12 months, especially if you received a “not right now.”

Redirect Your Energy 

Create another pipeline of donor prospects and start courting new relationships. Strengthen relationships with existing donors. 

Regardless of how things end with a donor, maintain confidence in the organization’s mission and your fundraising abilities. Strive to conclude the relationship positively. Ending a relationship gracefully leaves open the possibility of future opportunities.